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I Still Lost Myself

I Still Lost Myself

Posted on: Sunday, November 1, 2020

waiting


Yo reader and stalker (if any la lol)

If you guys been following my site you might still remember on my previous post where's i set myself to get my life back on track but the truth is things weren't easy for me to handle and to be honest i still lost myself..

Those who knows the real story you might be thinking that I'm such a crybaby or weak but you shouldn't judge someone's struggle if you're not in their shoes. Everyone born with different level of patience. Things that look simple to you may be hard for other to get it through and at some point my emotions get the best of me.

It just a matter of waiting but sometime it was too hard for me to handle. I waited everyday checking my phone hoping there's a good news and yet no good news. It's been four months now and recently i got news that the case has been delay to another one month, mean i still need to wait which i don't know for sure until when. There's no telling! I keep saying to myself to keep going and stay stronger but at the end of day i messed up. I cried alot, i ate alot and gain weight, sleepless almost everynight, rarely exercise and i wasting my time doing nothing. It was just like everyday is a lazy day for me. That was not me. Not what i  used to be. But luckily I'm doing my job just fine otherwise they will kick me out. Sigh.

To be honest I'm not upset because of the day that I've been waiting for got postponed. I just miss him so damn much. I never been in this situation before. I thought it took only two to three weeks then things were settled. Simple as that. I didn't expect it'll be this longer and I'm not fully prepared so don't blame me for being upset, childish or ridiculously unmatured. But one thing for sure I'm trying my best to handle whatever it is and I'll be waiting. So dear respective favorite person (though i knew you won't be able to read this yet) please don't keep me waiting any longer and get your ass out from there, asap! 

And this Covid19 pandemic stressing me out. I don't like being at home i don't like work from home. Wouldn't it best to stay at home and getting paid? Yeah. That is what i thought before but i changed my mind. After awhile been in this situation, i want everything back to normal. Back to what it used to be because i'm getting bored here and i started talking with myself hahaha but wait, i'm not crazy yet. Just bored!

Comments

  1. I have never thought you are crybaby. I used to be like that.
    I hope you will see light at end of tunnel. Insya Allah. Hang on and be patient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh dear..thank so much for the good support.
      i hope so, it just a matter of time n a little more sabr..right?
      ain't easy but i will try my best bcs life is real yoshh!

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  2. oh dear... stay strong ! the day that waited will come eventually, just keep on the positive side, you can do this !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tq dear...inshaAllah i believe i can n will try my best

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  3. be strong and keep going ..! and yes WFH is no good for the sadness heart :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. inshaAllah..
      true indeed..tambah stress huhu

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  4. some things are just too heavy for us to carry the loads.. but whatever they are.. insyallah kita akan baik2 saja. i think atm i am at my lowest point as well where sikit lagi i might lose myself too. too tired..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we all are huhu semoga sis pun baik2 saja ya dan be strong everyday! we can do this

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  5. hopefully everything will be back to normal soon...

    ReplyDelete
  6. thanks sebab jadi top komentator di blog saya..
    ada saya listkan dalam entri terbaru saya..
    jemput singgah..

    ReplyDelete
  7. mmg semua orang terkesan dgn pandemik covid19 ini..
    untuk itah..jgn la stress ye..kesian betul saya dgn awak ni..
    jika rindu call or video call dia..ok! jgn berdalih lg terus call!

    take care itah! stay safe!
    Inshaa Allah kesabaran yg membawa kebahgiaan satu hari nanti :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shida..the thing is..he's completely uncontactable/unreachable..no call no text nothing, all i can do is waiting an update from his friend regarding his condition n the case. i cant really explain it in here..im sorry its kind confidential huhuhu

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    2. complicatednya..hurmm..apa shida boleh buat hanya berdoa utk korang berdua..moga semua berjalan dgn baik..walau mcm mana pun itah, awak jaga diri awak baik2 jgn terlalu stress ok..buat perkara yg boleh meggembirakan awak..ok :)

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    3. so sweet of shida..tq so much doanya..inshaAllah semoga semua baik2 saja dan dipermudahkan.. amin.
      take care jgk ya n stay safe^^

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  8. Isn't that we all been wishing for? Making money from home but in reality, it's not that easy because one can get distracted and bored easily.
    I hope things will work out for you soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. at first i thought it was fun but then its not really wat i want n not fun at all.
      inshaAllah..thank u^^

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  9. Make time and go out to get some fresh air.
    Plant a tree or pet a cat for therapy.
    Hope everything is okay and stay strong sista~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yahh tat was my plan before CMCO..i supposed to go to Semporna this Nov enjoying myself at the island but then suddenly covid naik balik n semua terpaksa cancel..tiket hangus huhuhu sedih!
      good idea. thank u dear..inshaAllah i will b fine :)

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  10. Take care and be strong.
    Pray for that person for his safety.
    Cry out loud to ease the burden.
    It is ok.
    stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i will.. insaAllah..
      thank u n stay safe sis^^

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  11. Keep strong and stay safe... perbanyakkan doa, insya Allah, segalanya akan di permudahkan...

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  12. those yang cakap u crybaby tu ignore saja. u dont need that kind of people dalam life yang bukan membantu tp makin tambah masalah. u !! its okay to lose ourselves yaaa mmg normal hidup atas bawah ni.. so jangan rasa down sngt.

    ull get the hang of it dear. all is well.. insyallah
    take care..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thats so sweet of u sis..thank u for the good support
      inshAllah i will b okaym slowly but surely

      Delete
  13. Stay strong and don't give up. Ignore all negative people who talks behind u.

    Take care Litah

    ReplyDelete