Struggle Is Real

I'm okay. Sometime i'm not. I feel emotionally drained but i will be fine. The things i ain't speak about tormented me. Outside others see me as "happy go lucky girl" or maybe "the gila-gila one" sometime, but they have no idea how i struggle every night just to fall asleep and sometime i cried until i fall asleep. I do believe things will get better but before they get better they get worse and until that i need to holding on to every ounce of hope that i have to see a better days ahead.

Maybe i shouldn't share this on my blog and i'm sorry because i did it anyway. You see, am not perfect. I cried when am hurt, i bleed when i fall down. I cannot be okay like all the times. I'm not a vampire, when they bleed they quickly heal, when they hurt they can turn off their humanity - just having fun and feel nothing (pengaruh The Vampire Diaries..lol 😅). I ain't one. I'm just ordinary. A human where at some point in their life they can be very fragile regardless of how strong they were before.

Ain't easy not to express your feelings when you can't even talk about your problem to anyone. 

Maybe i can but i don't wanna talk about it. Because i always believed no matter how long it took things will get better. Yes, maybe not to what it used to be but it will get better. We will be fine. You and so do i. So to whom it may concern..you and me, we'll get through this. You stay strong and i will do the same. I ain't do this for me but for both of us. I waited and will always wait for ya and when the time comes i still be the same person i was. You should know that.

To anyone out there who might be struggling to going through what you going through, you're not alone. Everyone is not as happy as they seem neither in socmed nor real life. We're all fighting our own battle but the things you don't speak about will makes you suffocated and trying to be cool like all the time isn't working. I repeat, it just doesn't work.

You have to speak up your feelings, you need to admit that you're not fine at times. So if you wanna cry, cry. Let your tears out, let your feelings out, let it all out. But don't let it get the best of you. You need to wake up everyday stronger than you were yesterday. Struggle is real, life is real. Yoshh 💪✌️

its our moment of struggle that define us but how we handle them is what matters.

p/s to Kakly, Kakija, Kakjumi.. Thank you for being nice with me. Even though i haven't meet you guys in real life except for Kakly, i can feel a strong bond between us and it makes me feel a lot more better. Thank you very much..love ya!